


You by My Side; And I Hope

by ohjustdisarmalready



Series: And I 'verse [4]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Adventure, Canon Temporary Character Death, Family, Gen, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 03:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12740463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjustdisarmalready/pseuds/ohjustdisarmalready
Summary: Lucretia tries to drop Taako off at his new home post-voidfish.Please read And I Will before this one or it won't make much sense!





	You by My Side; And I Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the name confusion, I got something out of order! It's better now. What a time to be alive. This is meant to be a oneshot between the other multichap parts of the series, but I'm not saying it would be impossible to convince me to write some of Taako wandering around following Lucretia as she tries to get shit done.

“Here it is,” Lucretia said. It had taken her longer than she thought it would to figure out what would suit him best. “Your new home.”

Taako looked around, at the wagon, at the road, at her.

“Okay.”

He was the last of their crew still with her except for Davenport. Barry had disappeared, Magnus and Merle were beginning their new lives happily, but her captain and Taako…she’d had to take a lot from them, and Taako hadn’t been doing too well in the first place since Lup disappeared. She hoped putting him back on the road would give him some familiarity, help him adjust.

She hoped he wouldn’t just drift to the first person to give him orders.

“You’re going to be happy, Taako,” she promised him. “You’re going to be so loved. And I’ll come back in a little while and we can all come home.”

He stared at her blankly. “If you say so,” he said. He didn’t move to investigate the wagon. “Where is Davenport?”

Lucretia thought again about putting the two of them together so at least each of them would have someone, but Davenport was in no shape to be on the road. It was risky enough having the rest of her family so isolated.

“Davenport will be staying with me. You’ll see him soon.” She promised. Just as soon as all this was over. She put her hand on his shoulder, gently, and couldn’t bring herself to remove it. With her other hand, she gestured to the wagon. “Do you like it?”

Finally, Taako took interest. He considered the wagon, stepped up to it and peered inside. Walked around it to view it from all angles. Tested the durability of the cover, squatted next to the wheels.

“It’s a wagon,” he said. “We live in…not a wagon. Are we moving?”

Her heart clenched. “Yeah, Taako. This is your new home.”

He shouldn’t remember Magnus and Merle; she’d already erased their presence on the Starblaster after the wipe and the memory of dropping them off. She’d had to knock Taako out when she dropped Magnus off, anyway, or neither of them would have let it happen. Even without remembering anything, Magnus had hated seeing someone in distress and Taako had been unwilling to give up his watch over any of the crew. She hoped they wouldn’t be lonely.

Taako nodded, accepting her word as law and climbing onto the wagon. He looked at her expectantly.

“I’ll miss you so much,” she said. Her voice broke and his brows furrowed, concern breaking through the apathy and puzzlement.

“Why?” He asked. “I’m right here.”

She reached up and pulled him in for one last hug. From the ground she could only reach his waist. He patted her hair and curled back around her—some things, at least, he hadn’t lost. It gave her hope.

“I’ll miss you. I’m so sorry Taako, I’ll miss you all so much. I’ll bring you home soon,” she promised. Just as soon as she could fix this, as soon as they wouldn’t have to suffer any more for what they’d done. She couldn’t fix Taako but she could keep him from killing himself trying to get to Lup, wherever she was. Just for now.

“It’s okay, ma’am. You just brought me home. Thank you.” Lucretia squeezed him tight because he didn’t even remember her name, didn’t know that he should know it. She buried her face in his side and took one last moment to feel the warmth of another person, to be close to someone she loved.

And then she let go, and stepped back, and he was just looking at her, waiting for her to produce something new for him to react to. He would keep waiting there until one of them clearly needed food, or water, or to secure shelter. Just watching her. And that was why she had to let him go.

Maybe without anyone else there he would learn to exist for himself.

“You’re not far from Waterdeep. If you leave now you should make it pretty early tomorrow morning, maybe even tonight if you’re quick about it. You’re an excellent chef and you know how to find work on the road. You’ll be okay.” She told Taako this without quite looking at him, but she couldn’t look away, either. She reminded herself that she’d see him soon. This was best for all of them.

Taako nodded. “I think I like being on the road. Is that right?” He asked.

Lucretia could not afford to be devastated.

“Yes. You love it. You’ll learn to love it again. You’ll do great, Taako,” she said. She gave him one last, long look before starting the walk back to the Starblaster.

His feet hit the ground behind her. She turned around. He’d jumped off the wagon.

“Is something wrong?” She asked, and then felt ridiculous. Everything about this was wrong.

Taako shook his head. “I haven’t noticed anything,” he said.

Right. She was stalling. “Goodbye, Taako,” said, and started walking again.

She got two yards before stopping. She looked over her shoulder. There was Taako, sure enough, a few steps behind her and waiting patiently.

She took a step forward.

He matched it.

She took a step backward.

He stayed where he was.

“Taako?” She asked. He looked faintly confused.

“Yes? Did you need something? You forgot the cart,” he said.

She huffed out a breath. He wasn’t trying to be difficult, she reminded herself. This was nothing compared to the shit he got up to with Magnus.

Besides, this was the last time he’d pull something like this on her for weeks. Months, maybe, if finding the relics didn’t go well. She’d miss it soon.

“Taako, go back to the wagon,” she told him.

“Okay. Do you want me to bring it with us?” he called over his shoulder as he trotted back to the wagon. She shook her head.

“Yes, bring it with you. You’ll need it. _Goodbye_ , Taako.” Insufferable elf. She already couldn’t wait until he got back. He’d be impossible once he remembered.

If he wasn’t tearing himself up. She hoped, quietly, knowing it probably wouldn’t happen, that she’d find Lup while she was searching for the relics.

Something crunched on the road behind her. She turned around again. The cart was much closer than it had been before, and also facing her direction. Taako stood next to it.

“Where are we going? It might be faster to send the cart there in advance and we can catch up to it,” he suggested. Had she not been clear enough?

“No, Taako. You are taking the wagon and going to Waterdeep. I am going back to the ship to do something I should have done a long time ago. You aren’t following me.” She told him firmly. His expression wasn’t changing.

“Okay,” he said. “When will you be back?”

Fuck. She could almost swear he _was_ doing it to be difficult, but at the same time she was pretty sure he wasn’t capable of that at the moment.

“I won’t be, Taako, you are going _without me_ ,” she snapped, and immediately felt bad. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t want to be alone.

Taako tilted his head. Then he tilted his ears. Then he un-tilted, curiosity apparently not satisfied.

“I can’t do that?” He asked more than said.

Lucretia looked at her old friend, a fraction of his former self but no longer wracked with guilt and desperate for his sister, and wanted to sit down. She wanted so badly to just sit down right in the middle of the road and cry on his shoulder and not get up again until this was all over.

But it never would be over unless she finished this, so she didn’t sit down. She kept going.

“You can, Taako, and you will. I need you to start up your own life independent of anyone else’s. You aren’t serving anyone and you aren’t following anyone. You are your own elf.” She squared her shoulders and tried to channel every inch of confidence and authority she’d gained over a hundred years, and when that failed, she tried to channel Lup. If there was one person Taako would listen to…

Taako’s expression took on that vague look it had when he was getting an order he couldn’t refuse, but then his brow furrowed and he shook himself.

“Will my person be in Waterdeep?” He asked.

Lucretia’s brow furrowed. He’d referenced ‘his person’ a couple of times since the wipe, but he’d been referring to one of the others, not knowing their names. He shouldn’t remember them anymore, should he?

Well. One way or the other, she could be fairly certain he didn’t have any people in Waterdeep.

“I’m afraid not. You don’t need to have a person, Taako, you need to be your own person. And I can’t be there for that, okay? I’m leaving,” she said, and she thought she was doing pretty well but her voice broke on the last bit. She clenched her fists and didn’t let him say anything.

“I’m leaving now, and you can’t follow me. _Goodbye_ , Taako!”

And she sprinted away from him.

* * *

 

Three days later, she was flying the Starblaster high above the planet below and a knock came at her door.

“Davenport? What is it?” she asked, turning from her new journals (they were fresh and dyed a gorgeous blue but she couldn’t get excited about them. It was hard to get excited about anything). At the door to her room was Taako.

“Holy shit!” she said, because that was the appropriate reaction to her situation.

“I brought you breakfast,” Taako said. “I don’t know why, but you strike me as someone who forgets to eat. You should try not to do that or you could die.”

Lucretia’s life was a horror movie. Taako had been mugged on his way to Waterdeep and killed and now he was haunting her in vengeance for his death. She was dreaming. This was all an incredibly immersive stress-based hallucination.

There was a smiley face made of bacon and eggs on what certainly looked like fresh bread.

She looked at Taako.

“I used magic to cheat on the bread’s rising time. It would have taken too long otherwise,” he explained, like that was the problem here.

“Right,” Lucretia said faintly. She took the plate and also the fork and Taako grabbed a levitating cup of apple juice to put on her desk because she was allergic to citrus and Barry wasn’t around to buy orange juice for anymore.

She took a bit of the bacon smile. Maybe she was just hungry.

Well, as soon as she started eating she was ravenous. She had forgotten a few meals recently, she supposed, and the others had been battling to remember how time worked with a good chunk of their memories gone. She hoped they were remembering to eat.

“I made some for the little guy, too. He doesn’t have much to say, does he?” And just like that, there went her appetite. It was hard to do things like eat delicious meals when one of the best men you know had been reduced to a name being parroted to an empty room.

“Taako, how did you find me? Why are you here?” She asked, because none of that should be possible. He shouldn’t even be able to remember the existence of the Starblaster unless someone had told him.

And of course no one had told him. Who was there to tell?

Taako shrugged. “I asked to go back to you and they put me here.”

What?

“What?”

He remained unconcerned. “I asked the people who gave me my…purpose? I said I’d lost you and you needed my help and they put me back here.”

Lucretia felt the blood drain from her face. “Taako, did you talk to the…the people who made you?” she asked delicately.

He nodded. “They were surprised to see me. They offered to fix me but I thought probably no, that’s not a good idea. So they just put me here so you can fix me.”

Lucretia looked him over closely, but he was already so far removed from the Taako she knew…

“Are you sure they didn’t do anything to you? Absolutely certain?” She demanded.

“Yeah, they just took me out of here and put me back in where you are. They told me I have other people too, but they said I could stay with you for a while until they needed me.” He explained. She wanted to shake him.

Fuck.

“Taako, that was _incredibly_ dangerous. Those… _people_ cannot be trusted under any circumstance; do you understand me? You can’t go to them again. They could kill you! Or worse! With absolutely no trouble! You could have just been—” _gone_. First Lup and then Taako. What would the point of defeating the Hunger be if she lost everything to do it? It would take them decades to rebuild the research Lup had done with Taako unless she could find Barry and restore his memories, and even then it was a risky bet. They could have put him back at square one effortlessly and she never would have recovered him. He winced and she registered that she was clutching his shoulders.

She loosened her grip, but she couldn’t bring herself to let go. She might have been bruising him.

“Taako, I need you to swear to me that you will not ever go to those people again. You were right not to let them do anything to you. Don’t accept anything they offer you, and the next time they try to help you, just come back here and get me. Promise me, Taako.” She looked into his too-dull eyes and he looked back, but it was like looking through a screen. The shapes were there was none of the subtleties.

He still understood what she wanted, though.

“What if you go missing again? I need to find you, I’m supposed to keep you safe,” he said.

Fuck. Fucking—fuck. Lucretia hated Taako’s creators for a moment, more than she usually did. Was this how Lup felt all the time? Fuck.

“You don’t need to keep me safe, Taako. I can take care of myself. I just need you to keep yourself safe for right now,” she said. With some difficulty, she removed her hands from his arms and smoothed his shirt down where she’d wrinkled it.

He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.

“I won’t go back to them if you don’t take my people away from me,” he countered. She fought the temptation to offer him whatever he wanted as long as he didn’t pull that kind of suicidal bullshit again.

“Taako, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who are your people? Why couldn’t you just have stayed in Waterdeep?” She asked. Taako’s sleeves straightened, she brushed his hair back—he’d be humiliated to see the rat’s nest it was in at any other time—and sat back down to pick at her rapidly cooling food.

Taako was prepared to answer this one, at least.

“My people. The people I’m supposed to…do something for. There’s. I don’t know. Something. I owe them? I…? Anyway, they’re gonna need me later and I can’t find the rest of them, so I’m sticking with you and the little guy until I do. I have to help you.” He said with increasing confidence. It was the most sure of himself she’d seen him since the wipe.

She’d tried so hard to take this particular concept from him.

Maybe she should have known better than to try to overwrite the rules he’d been born with. If Lup couldn’t completely remove them with a hundred years and change, a few journals could hardly hope to compete.

The runny eyes of her eggs stared up at her and she couldn’t do it anymore.

“Okay.” She said, low, defeated.

“Okay?” Taako asked. “We got a deal?”

She stood.

“Yes. You can stay with me and Davenport, as long as you promise never to go to them again.” She looked firmly at him with burning eyes. Her nose was running. How embarrassing.

“And you won’t take my people away if I find them?” That one was…harder. But if nothing else, she was going to have to get used to lying.

“I won’t.” She confirmed.

“Then I won’t go back out of here. I’ll keep looking for my people and I’ll help them and I’ll bring the others back to you and the little guy when I find them.” He said. Lucretia brought him in for a hard hug with her mind already churning. She needed to keep him from finding the others before she was ready.

But for now…

“You can stay with me,” she said to his hair.

“I’ll stay with you,” he promised.

Maybe she couldn’t save Taako; but deep in her heart, she was so, _so_ glad not to be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just saying, every single member of the IPRE is insanely overprotective in their own unique ways. Except maybe Merle. Merle is one of the more well-adjusted members, and considering how down for murder he is at any given point, that's saying something.
> 
> This almost turned into a gazillion words of Taako and Lucretia (feat. Davenport) running around starting the BoB while Killian is blatantly suspicious of them, but my muse was merciful and released me after this scene. Please, I haven't closed Microsoft Word in years. I have a family...
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think!


End file.
